Am I Being Emotionally Abused? 15 Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore
- Tiffiny Newton
- Jun 20
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 14
When we think of abuse, we often imagine physical violence. But emotional abuse can be just as damaging—and often harder to recognize. It doesn't leave bruises, but it leaves deep scars that affect your self-
worth, decision-making, and even your ability to trust your own instincts.
If you're asking yourself, "Am I being emotionally abused?" — I want you to know you're not alone. That question is the first brave step toward clarity.
In this article, we’ll explore the most commonly searched signs of emotional abuse, explain what makes it so harmful, and guide you through the first steps of healing.
What Is Emotional Abuse?
Emotional abuse is a form of psychological manipulation designed to gain control, instill fear, or chip away at a person’s sense of self. It often happens subtly over time, making it difficult to identify in the moment.
What Does Emotional Abuse Look Like?
Constant criticism or humiliation
Gaslighting ("That never happened.")
Silent treatment
Threats, guilt trips, or emotional blackmail
Withholding affection as punishment
Controlling your decisions or isolating you from others
These tactics may not leave a mark, but they can destroy your mental and emotional wellbeing.
15 Red Flags of Emotional Abuse
These signs are pulled from thousands of Google searches like "how to tell if you've been abused" and "what are the signs of emotional abuse" — because people everywhere are wondering the same thing.
You constantly feel like you're walking on eggshells
They blame you for everything that goes wrong
You second-guess your memory and decisions
They isolate you from family and friends
You feel like nothing you do is ever good enough
They control finances, schedules, or your appearance
You feel guilty for asking for basic respect
They twist your words or rewrite history
Your self-esteem has slowly eroded
You no longer recognize who you were before this relationship
You're afraid to express your thoughts or feelings
They give you affection only when you "behave"
You're accused of being "too sensitive" constantly
They weaponize your past, insecurities, or trauma against you
You're exhausted, confused, or emotionally numb
If these feel familiar, take a deep breath. What you're experiencing is real—and valid.
How Emotional Abuse Impacts You
Many survivors report symptoms similar to PTSD. You may experience:
Chronic anxiety or depression
Sleep disturbances
Memory loss or brain fog15 Red Flags of Emotional Abuse
Low self-worth
A fear of setting boundaries or making independent choices
This is not just emotional "hurt feelings." This is abuse.
What Is Trauma Bonding?
One of the most confusing parts of emotional abuse is feeling attached to the person hurting you. This is called trauma bonding—a psychological pattern that forms when intermittent abuse is paired with intermittent kindness.
You may feel addicted to their approval, hopeful they'll change, or responsible for "fixing" the relationship. But real love doesn’t thrive on fear or confusion.
The 5 Stages of Emotional Abuse
Idealization — They love bomb you. You feel seen, adored, and needed.
Devaluation — Criticism, distance, and gaslighting creep in.
Control — You begin adjusting your behavior to avoid conflict.
Fear or Punishment — Disagreements are met with threats or emotional withdrawal.
Repetition — The cycle continues, with occasional "highs" to keep you hoping.
How to Heal from Emotional Abuse
Healing is a process—not a moment. It begins when you:
Acknowledge what happened (without minimizing it)
Speak your truth to someone safe
Create distance (emotional or physical)
Seek professional support (therapy or support groups)
Rebuild your self-trust slowly, and with compassion
You don’t have to rush your healing. But you do deserve to begin it.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Peace
If you’ve asked yourself, "Am I being abused?" that question didn’t come from nowhere. Trust it.
You deserve relationships that feel safe, loving, and respectful. Abuse—whether physical or emotional—has no place in your life.
Keep asking. Keep learning. Keep choosing yourself.